Friday, September 12, 2008

Childless

I didn't think I could pull myself together to write tonight. What a ride. Our hope is that we will be able to get out of here quickly and return home.
When we started this trip we knew that our lives would be changed forever, but not like this. We fought this fight to the very end, exhausting every single resource possible. After our agency told us to "go home" we received an e-mail from the Assistant to the Minister of the Ministry of the dept that the SDA is under. Then a phone call asking us if we could meet at 11am Friday to discuss our situation alone and they would supply the interpreter. This was only possible because of influential contacts. A client of mine referred a very high powered Attorney to us who had excellent political connections and he actually made this connection for us. It's all who you know. Our meeting today was successful in a few ways confirming what we already knew about this mess and how it happened, but unfortunately this contact could not get us our 3rd appt without breaking the law.
We appreciate all the love and support from everyone. Since we reached out to people for help we have received an overwhelming 200plus e-mails. All from people who cared enough to reach to us.
Still torturing ourselves with all the questions. Why? How come? And although we are not quite there and we do not understand, there is a part of us that firmly believes that everything happens the way it is supposed to.
Changed forever...

18 comments:

Olga said...

Dearest ones,

Godspeed on your trip home...

We hope that this does not mean you will stop trying to find the child that is meant to be yours. What about a different country?? My mom says Greece is giving away children and no room in the orphanges...just a thought..I wish I had the words to provide comfort right now but as you know we are behind you 100% in whatever decision you make...come home, regroup, and take it from there..

All our love and devotion,
Olga & Family

kiska-o said...

We are all changed forever by this...for the worse by the heartache we have felt every step of the way along with you and for the better in knowing the two of you and the strength you have shown us all through this process. We're still with you and are waiting here to help and support you in any way we can, even if that means leaving you be for a while.

Safe travels.

Love, J

Lori "Stone" said...

My heart is broken along with yours. Have a safe trip home. If there's anything I can do for you guys, please don't hesitate to ask. Jesse, do you want Hankus to book another fishing trip for next month?? :))

love you guys,

Lori

Mom W said...

Not to worry you will be parents just keep your hopes up this was just an expensive trial of errors and lessons learned. I'm sure there are other ways to become parents and you will find them. Love you have a quiet journey home and kiss the ground you live on.

Dianne said...

Sigh. I am speechless and confused, and have a lot of sadness in my heart.

Dianne

Kathryn said...

Nik & Jess,
I am in awe of you two. Your focus, persistence, your strength and tenacity.
I am sad and sorry about the outcome.
I/We are here for you. Whatever you need, whatever that means.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
I know you two and you will somehow make this work to your advantage.
Keep believing!!!!!
We love you, we mean it~
Be safe.
K

Unknown said...

We're so sorry that you had to go through this, but as you said - there is a reason and purpose behind it. Don't know what it is, yet. Come home. Grieve. Go forward. You're both very loved.

H & R

Anna said...

Like J says,we are all changed by this forever. I am sad and confused about the whole thing. We will all continue to support you in any way we can. See & Believe that your child is still out there waiting for you. Have a safe trip home. I am here for you for whatever you need.

All my love,

Anna & Family

elena said...

Dear Jesse & Nicole,

I just finished reading what might be your last blog from the Ukraine and I am numb with disbelief. Like yourselves and everyone else who have been following your journey, I don’t understand how this could happen. Not only am I sad for the two of you, but I’m heartbroken for the child who is being robbed of devoted, loving parents. You are truly two of the most wonderful people I know. I have hoped and prayed this would end with you coming home with your child, but now I hope and pray that you do not let this horrible experience deter you from pursing your dream.

With tears in my eyes and pain in my heart…

Much love,
Elena

Laurie Rostad said...

Godspeed to you and your husband. We love you very much!!!!!

Claudia Hernandez said...

I really wish there was something we can do to make this easier for the two of you. Just know that "your" child is out there and you will find him/her soon.
KEEP FAITH, & continue to be as STRONG as you've been through this journey.

Have a safe trip home.

Claudia

bird'smom said...

"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger". I'm sad for you. But I know your heart is still alive and full of love. I know there are two little feet out there waiting for you. Be strong and fly safely home to everyone who loves you. In time this will just be another part of your journey....
Wendy

Les said...

All of the comments from your extended family reflect my feelings to and for you both. I don't know what else to say. Safe trip home.

Les

Kimmie Bell said...

Your journey is not over. Your little person is out there waiting for you. There's no place like home and I'm sure it will bring some sort of peace and clarity to you both once you are back. xo Kimmie

Kimbell and Mark said...

I am so sorry - praying for healing and a quick trip home!

Mom W said...

Well its Saturday and we are waiting for your return you may be childless now but I'm sure not for long. The mornings are overcast kinda like our moods but I like this weather. Please call when you can to let us know your home ok.

Love you

Andrea Roberts said...

I am so sorry to hear of the troubles you have had in Ukraine. Your perseverence has been amazing though. I so wish we had known each other in the beginning of your trip....there is just so much that you weren't told about Ukraine and should have been :( My prayers are with you, and just know that God truly does have a reason for everything. Doesn't make you feel better now, but please, if you ever change your minds about a child with special needs....please do not hesitate to ask. --Andrea Roberts, Reece's Rainbow Down Syndrome Adoption Ministry, www.reecesrainbow.org

Kimberly said...

My heart is broken. Your journey is not over. Your child is out there waiting for you. If there is anything I can do, please let me know.

MUCH LOVE,
Kimberly