Thursday, September 11, 2008

Hanging on

It was an extremely painful day. The profound betrayal and devastation almost too much to bare. We grieved all day, taking out our anger in displaced ways.
We received an e-mail this morning from our agency that read, "We are recommending that you go home!" Go home? How is that possible? We came to the Ukraine to adopt our child. What do you mean go home? Jess and I reviewed our history of this adoption in the making, from the day we decided after the news from our infertility specialist, to the long hours of research, running around with paperwork, late nights completing our adoption courses,the nightly discussions, our friendships we have developed through our adoption arena, and so much more. Both of us remembering our preparation prior to leaving. Jesse and his electronics..."gotta stay connected", he would say and of course work. Cleaning out the "new ones" room. Taking my extra clothes from that closet and saying to Jesse, "where am I gonna put all this stuff?" Baby proofing the house, and buying a stroller to bring with us. Which we have schlepped around to LAX,Rome,Kiev, Kharkiv, and Dnipro. Remembering our long talks about our child...boy or girl?...what kind of personality will they have?...how old will they be?...where will they sit at the dinner table?...will they like Sushi?...and the list goes on. Going over and over in our heads, how could this possibly be happening?
And then came late afternoon...can't say too much except...
DEVINE INTERVENTION!

22 comments:

Achmed the Dead Terrorist said...

Whoah!!

I definitely k**ll you!!

Shaia said...

Ga..GA...GAAAAA!!!

Translation:

I totally LOVE you both!!

gaby said...

dear little sis and jess

We too are HANGING ON!
Please know that we are sending all the positive love and energy that an entire city can send.
Hang in there

We love you
g

kiska-o said...

Power on Garth!

Love, J

Anna said...

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!! just hang on and keep the faith..thinking about you all the time. sending you much love, strength and positive energy!! love you both...

Feelings


Anna B.

Dianne said...

I don't know what to say, except that tears stream down my face, as i am reading this to Ronn over the phone (can you tell we check in over and over each day, anticipating hopeful, happy news from you guys?)
Tears of understanding and GIANT HOPES.
"Come home", what are they talking about? It's not over until it's OVER. Until YOU are finished, done...
Will continue to send my positive energy, prayers, and strength, your way. Knowing that it has to, and will work out for you!!
Worst advice I gave you was telling you to leave running shoes at home. OY!! :) I've even started running. I don't run.

love and friendship,
Dianne
This will be the biggest, best goal you've ever accomplished, and you will have the most powerful, amazing "fight" story to tell for all the days of your life.

Cuz L said...

Positive waves coming your way.

We are with you, love you and will be there all the way!

Cuz L & D xxxxxxx

P.S. I guess you don't need the socks anymore?

Olga said...

We send you the very best and most powerful positive energy for the road ahead. Divine Intervention is definitely in the air...probably from all the prayers sent from this side of the world!!!

We love you!!!
Olga & family

Ron said...

Hang in there...sending positive energy...

Love,
Ron and Liz

elena said...

WOW!!! I think my heart just skipped a beat. You gotta love devine intervention!

e.

Unknown said...

Your strength and love for each other has brought you this far. You have been through some amazing, heart wrenching moments...emotions I will probably never feel in my life.

I hate to say this, but from what I am hearing, it may indeed be time to come home..especially if your agency is saying this. Only you can decide when the right time is. You cannot force something to happen. This does not mean you are giving up hope...just means you will continue your quest when you get home.

I am positive there is a HEALTHY beautiful child out there for you, but that child may be elsewhere than the Ukraine. I am sending strong, positive thoughts your way and truly hoping something amazing will happen while you are there.

I love you both,
Jay

Unknown said...

Okay, now I'm crying again.

Snordo said...

I fell your pain and hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Let's hope all of our prayers for you have been answered.

P.S. Jesse - yellowfin tuna are biting off of Newport!

Gregg

Helayne and Howard said...

This certainly has been one complicated pregnancy..but the good thing about this is that there is some type of child one day ,somewhere...never give up searching!

Mom W said...

Hanging in there waiting for info

Love You

Haley said...

Wow....hard to respond. I hope you find out better news tomorrow. Keep us posted.... Keep strong...
Haley

Kimmie Bell said...

One of my favorite sayings might be a good fit here....

"We are unaware what sweet miracles may come"

xo
Kimmie, Duane and Romie

Shelley Gibson said...

Unbelievable!!

Holding the moooosssssttttt positive thoughts for you both. Nicole and Jess are so amazing and we send all of our love.

xoxox
Shelley

spaul said...

Giving connects two people, the giver and the receiver, and this connection gives birth to a new sense of belonging.
Remember that brick wall get ready to pole vault. Somewhere a child waits, a miracle is possible. We Love You come home to us we all miss you! We all pray for your safe return.

Kimberly said...

I don't know what to say, tears are rolling down my face as I am writing this. It's not over til it's OVER!! Just hang on and keep the FAITH. Sending you much LOVE, STRENGTH and POSITIVE ENERGY!!

LOVE U BOTH

♥♥

Kimberly

Mouse said...

Ok, you are driving me crazy wondering what amazing thing happened!!!

The Universe works in mysterious ways!

Mindi
xoxo

Claudia Hernandez said...

My heart goes out to you both.
Keep faith, there is a lil one out there waiting for such wonderful parents as you will be soon.

I am sending positive energy your way!!!!!!!

Claudia