Hanging on

It was an extremely painful day. The profound betrayal and devastation almost too much to bare. We grieved all day, taking out our anger in displaced ways.
We received an e-mail this morning from our agency that read, "We are recommending that you go home!" Go home? How is that possible? We came to the Ukraine to adopt our child. What do you mean go home? Jess and I reviewed our history of this adoption in the making, from the day we decided after the news from our infertility specialist, to the long hours of research, running around with paperwork, late nights completing our adoption courses,the nightly discussions, our friendships we have developed through our adoption arena, and so much more. Both of us remembering our preparation prior to leaving. Jesse and his electronics..."gotta stay connected", he would say and of course work. Cleaning out the "new ones" room. Taking my extra clothes from that closet and saying to Jesse, "where am I gonna put all this stuff?" Baby proofing the house, and buying a stroller to bring with us. Which we have schlepped around to LAX,Rome,Kiev, Kharkiv, and Dnipro. Remembering our long talks about our child...boy or girl?...what kind of personality will they have?...how old will they be?...where will they sit at the dinner table?...will they like Sushi?...and the list goes on. Going over and over in our heads, how could this possibly be happening?
And then came late afternoon...can't say too much except...
DEVINE INTERVENTION!