Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Leavin' tomorrow

Did not sleep a wink last night. So many things going through my mind. Early in the morning I had a complete meltdown which lasted almost the whole day. Do not want to get into yesterday but let's say it just about put me over the edge. Jess and I talked for hours today and I cried. Throughout the day Jess cried too, mostly I think he felt helpless because he could not really do much for me...the truth is I just needed a day to let it all out, re-group, re-connect with Jess and move on. Both of us were dis-enchanted, angry, bitter, full of questions, and trying to dig deep enough to find some resolve. Late afternoon I pulled it together, wiped my puffy eyes, and we went to purchase our plane tickets at a small local travel agent and back to the SDA to pick up our new referral paperwork. The gal at the SDA today let us look at our referral's picture again for about 2 minutes and I had a chance to study the photo. Some of my concerns about his cleft lip and palate have dissipated somewhat. I am hoping that it is not as severe as I originally was thinking. There is only one Ukrainian airline and that's the one we are on. Our plane leaves Kiev tomorrow at 9am and will arrive in Dnipropetrovsk at 10:30am. We have arranged for a driver to pick us up and take us directly to see the "Inspector."Then we will go to the orphanage. Our Doctor here in the Ukraine is on stand-by for us and our Doctor in the US is waiting to hear from us as well. Both Jess and I are feeling excited about this little boy and are hoping for a beautiful connection.

18 comments:

mom and dad said...

Thumbs up from us!!!!!!!!
Love,
Momma and Pops

Olga said...

Sometimes you need to just let it all hang out; good, bad and ugly! Maybe its time to put your running shoes on and go for a run through the streets of Kiev...get those endorphins to work for you, not against you...! There is always a reason for sad tears, and maybe the reason is that soon tears will fall from sheer joy and triumph! Everything will work out the way it is supposed to...never forget!
Much Love 2 U both,
Olga

Mom W said...

We are glad you got it out of your systems and can look at things with a cleansed mind a kid is just a kid and needs love and kindness so my hopes for you is good but only you know what you can handle so watch your steps and be good to yourself first.

Love You

Sharon P said...

Just a short note to let you know we are all praying for you. I know it must be so hard. But remember what your Grandma Alice always said " All good things come to those who wait" I know everthing will work out in the end and you will find the one who you love and he or she will need all the love you can give. We just can't wait to meet our new family member.
Love and Best Wishes,
Sharon

Achmed the Dead Terrorist said...

безмолвие!

AdrianS said...

Guys,

Olga is right. Sometimes you really need to just roll with it. Life is as brutal and ugly as it is gentle and beautiful. Remember karma. You guys are awesome for undertaking this trip-its your trip as much as it is "Kishka's". Blessings for you. Whatever child will come home with you will be soooo lucky.

Shtastya,
Adrian

Alli B. said...

Girl you need a good run, everything will be as it should. I am praying that you find what you need to get through it all. I know you guys will and soon you will have your child in your arms.

Love Alli B

ron said...

Thinking of you constantly...We know you will do whats right no matter what! Sending good thoughts your way....
Love Ron and Liz

kiska-o said...

Go for a run?! OMG...now that would make me cry for sure... but for you it's perfect! We’re all holding back girl! But hopefully the celebration will soon begin as Kiska-o is identified! (I may do some running at that point…maybe!)

You needed to bottom out so you could clear your head. 3 is still a good number and may Sept 3rd be the day that brings you what you have been looking for all these days, weeks, months, years!

We’re all with you and Jess!

Love, J

Haley said...

I am excited for you and I am hopeful when you see this little boy - you will connect and all will be good and you will become the parents you want to be. Follow your hearts and everything will work as it should. I hope your travel is well and look forward to reading the next journal. Hopefully it will be positive! I am praying for you....
Haley

gaby said...

dear little sis and bro
Waking up this 3rd day of September with more anticipation than you ever could imagine, I'm sure. You guys are ready for whatever the universe brings this day. We are all here for you with our best wishes and positive energy. Stay strong and know that this is worth fighting for. Please write when you can...we are all anxiously awaiting your next post!

Les said...

You guys have an incredible group of friends and family who are with you on every step that you take. I can't possibly imagine the emotional roller coaster that you're both riding. Just hold tight (to each other) and know that you ARE getting to the end of one journey, and about to start the best.

Travel safe

Les

Kimberly said...

Nicole & Jesse,

Just wanted you both to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. There is not one second that goes by in my day that I do not think of you guys. Always remember that Everything will work out the way it is supposed to.

Much ♥ to U both,

Kimberly

Anna said...

Great Idea, put the shoes on and just run where the wind takes you. Clear your mind and let it all out. Pound that pavement hard!! Gather your thoughts, regroup and hold on tight and let everything happen to your advantage..The good comes to the good!!!

My thoughts and prayers are constantly with you...

Much love to you both,

Anna Browne

adoptedthree said...

I adopted a little girl in April 2006 with unrepaired CL/CP. I know all of your feelings right now but it is amazing how there is so much available for CL/CP now. I remember traveling to meet her and thinking What am I doing? It will work out just fine
I can provide lots of info regarding what to expect.

Email me at boomerseyler@yahoo.com

Leanna
mom to three UA cuties

Shaia said...

...wondering if you have connected with your son, or if you are preparing for Round 3. Either way, we support you 100%! Stay strong and positive!! We love you! xoxo

Unknown said...

praying it's a wonderful meeting!

Snordo said...

It tough to hear that you're both having a hard time and having to do it alone in a strange place. This time next year it will all be a memory and you're lives will changed. Both of you are growing and becoming stronger as a unit because of this as well which will last you a lifetime because you know you will always be able to count on the other when it counts.