Round 1

Unfortunately today did not turn out the way we had hoped. Did not get much sleep last night. Left our apartment at 9:30 this morning and arrived at the State Dept at 9:45. At that time we were the only couple waiting in the tiny lobby, if you would call it that. There were 2 couples already in their meetings. Within an hour the lobby filled up with other couples who were there waiting for their appointments. Actually we were all gathered at the bottom of the stairs leading to the appointment rooms. Facilitators communicated with one another, and for the most part all of us waiting kept our eyes down, and no one hardly said a word. I could tell there was another American couple, a Ukrainian couple, and an Italian couple.
As we waited anxiety crept thru our bodies, and it seemed like it took forever until the clock turned 11am. Each time we heard a door open from above and someone walking our bodies filled with anticipation, so much so that at one point I was nauseous and needed to breath some fresh air. At 11:20 an attractive woman waived Sveta up the stairs and we followed. We entered a private room with a corner couch seat. All three of us sat down and quickly the meeting began. Sveta interpreted everything the "Psychologist" said. She first asked a series of questions. Why are you adopting? How come the Ukraine? How long have you been with your agency? What is your occupation? Where do you live? Do you own your home? The ebb and flow of the conversation seemed to be going well. Then she said, what are your expectations? We told her a girl/boy, minor correctable medical conditions, age 2-5. She said they have no children at this time but she would show us what they have and that all of the children in the orphanages have severe medical conditions. The files were placed on the table in front of us. We saw a total of 9.
They consisted of 1 page describing in Ukrainian the child's medical conditions, age, orphanage information and some other info. The Psychiatrist and Sveta communicated back and forth.
We kept asking to see children in our age range, who only had minor medical conditions, and she kept saying this is all we have today. There were only 2 children on our age range, we saw a sibling set ages 7and9, who seemed to be healthy, but that was too old for us, and we saw severely challenged children. In particular one file was extremely disturbing. It is difficult to turn down these referrals when you know how desperate these children are to find good homes. Jess and I spent many hours discussing our limitations and at this point in our lives we are clear on what will work for both of us. In order for us to get a second appointment at the State Dept. we needed to choose one of the files that were presented to us. So we chose the youngest boy age 3. He has something called Pierre-Robbins syndrome, which can affect ones breathing, swallowing, chin growth, and verbal skills. He has a small cleft palate (inside). He also had leg surgery to correct his leg positioning. Our plan is to travel to his orphanage in Kharkiv on Thursday night leaving at 2am arriving at 8am. Then we will need to visit the child in order to decline this referral. As I write this tears fall from my eyes as I am not sure how I will handle it all. Of course I will get thru it...but I don't imagine it will be easy. If we decline this referral our plan is to return to Kiev on Friday or Saturday and wait for our next appointment at the State Dept.
This is not how we wished our day would have played itself out, but we are supporting one another and holding on to hope, and reminding ourselves that everything happens exactly the way it is supposed to.
As Jess and our dear friend Phil say...just keep swimmin'...just keep swimmin'!