My Mother

I wanted to post about my incredible Mother. The woman who has been there every step of the way for me. She has picked me up when I was about to give up with this whole process. There would be times when I would be challenged greatly with paperwork, or set backs with the Country closing, or other road blocks and she would encourage me with her words to continue to move forward. While we in the Ukraine she was our lifeline. We called her every day if it was possible and sometimes 2-3 times a day. She consoled us, counseled us, gave us ideas, researched for us, supported us and most importantly loved us. We depended on her daily, and she was always there for us, every hour of every day. I could not have made it through this without her. Although many of you have not had the pleasure of meeting my Mother she is an extremely bright, strong, independent woman who taught me that with perseverance and integrity one can always reach their goals. No matter how hard it is, never give up, find a way to make it happen. She is one whom believes in honesty and one who stands up for what she believes in. Her caring ways have reached thousands with her support of many organizations. She spent her whole career life, teaching, helping, taking care of special needs individuals, and making a huge impact on the lives of so many. I remember at her retirement party realizing the important role she played in making a huge difference in this world. I can only hope that one day I make half of the difference she has made. My mother is my dearest friend, a woman whom I admire and respect tremendously. She has been the greatest influence on the woman I have become today. I want to say thanks for being there every step of the way!
I love you Mom.

Home

Our travels home were long but fruitful. We schlepped the stroller one last time. We could have easily given it away, but Jesse was determined to bring it home, and so we did. We met a nice guy named Alex at the airport who was on our flight. He was born in Moscow, moved to a small village in Mexico when he was nine and then to Miami, South Beach. He was carrying tennis rackets so we assumed he played but not until we got to talking did we find out that he is a professional tennis player who is currently traveling playing the circuit. While exchanging information about ourselves he became aware that we lived in the Los Angeles area. He wanted to know if we knew where Calabasas was because he would be there in a few weeks for a match. Of course we know where Calabasas is we told him, not far from our home. He invited us to come watch him play and we invited him to our home. Looking forward to getting together again. While we were on the plane, Jess and I ventured back to where Alex was sitting. We figured if he was up to visiting it would make the 11 hour flight go faster. Alex wanted to know our story, so there we were in the back of a 737 sharing our unsuccessful adoption story. Not sure if he was just being nice, but he let us go on and on describing in detail our story and letting us relive our agony. He had no idea how therapeutic it was for us. Without notice a woman in the seat in front of us turned around and said she could not help but overhear our conversation. She had alot to say about the Ukraine and how adoptions operate and we welcomed all of her comments. Then Alex and her began to talk "sports", and they realized they both knew someone that Alex was just playing tennis with in the Ukraine. They also discovered that they both live in South Beach within 4 blocks of one another. Soon after we discovered that this nice Ukrainian woman was also a professional athlete, a 3 time GOLD medalist, sprinter. The rest of the flight Jess and I spent talking to these two remarkable athletes who continued to encourage us to move forward and never give up. It was a perfect flight. Landed in New York on time and found our way to the right terminal to check in for our flight to LA. We had a 4 hour layover in NY. Prior to leaving the Ukraine we had been communicating through e-mail with a wonderful woman who lives in NY who helped us tremendously. We sent an e-mail to her telling her we had a layover and we would love to have coffee if she lived close enough. She sent an e-mail back telling us to phone when we arrived that she would love to meet us and asked us how we would feel if she brought her adopted daughter and husband with her. We were so appreciative that she was so sensitive to us and told her we would love to meet the whole family. After we checked in we were heading towards the phone booth to call her when a woman approached us asking us if we were Jesse and Nicole. She had found us without us calling her. What a lovely welcoming back into the US. I started to cry. Here we are in NY with a woman who has never met us but believed enough in us that she came with her family to find us at the airport. No words can express our gratitude. All 5 of us parked our butts on the floor of the airport and got to know one another. It was an event we will never forget. We loved her,her husband and their beautiful daughter. Their story was an inspiration to us. They traveled to the Ukraine 3 times before they found their daughter. And we could see and feel that although it was not easy to find her it was worth every single challenge and road block they encountered. Wish we had more time to spend with them, but have made a commitment to ourselves that we will visit again when we go back east to visit relatives. We also know that this is the beginning of a really wonderful relationship.
Home at last, re-grouping, feeling completely disjointed. Jesse said to me when I woke up, "how are you feeling?" And I started to cry and said, "I just imagined we would be waking up with our child and I would be pouring milk into a bowl of cereal saying, "have as much as you want!" For now we are resting our troubled minds, and healing our wounds before we move forward.
We have received an out pour of well wishes from friends and family. Thank you all, and know that as soon as we work through this we will be in communication. It may take us some time to get back to our old selves but we will get there. One thing is foresure... Jess and I are in this together.

Childless

I didn't think I could pull myself together to write tonight. What a ride. Our hope is that we will be able to get out of here quickly and return home.
When we started this trip we knew that our lives would be changed forever, but not like this. We fought this fight to the very end, exhausting every single resource possible. After our agency told us to "go home" we received an e-mail from the Assistant to the Minister of the Ministry of the dept that the SDA is under. Then a phone call asking us if we could meet at 11am Friday to discuss our situation alone and they would supply the interpreter. This was only possible because of influential contacts. A client of mine referred a very high powered Attorney to us who had excellent political connections and he actually made this connection for us. It's all who you know. Our meeting today was successful in a few ways confirming what we already knew about this mess and how it happened, but unfortunately this contact could not get us our 3rd appt without breaking the law.
We appreciate all the love and support from everyone. Since we reached out to people for help we have received an overwhelming 200plus e-mails. All from people who cared enough to reach to us.
Still torturing ourselves with all the questions. Why? How come? And although we are not quite there and we do not understand, there is a part of us that firmly believes that everything happens the way it is supposed to.
Changed forever...

Hanging on

It was an extremely painful day. The profound betrayal and devastation almost too much to bare. We grieved all day, taking out our anger in displaced ways.
We received an e-mail this morning from our agency that read, "We are recommending that you go home!" Go home? How is that possible? We came to the Ukraine to adopt our child. What do you mean go home? Jess and I reviewed our history of this adoption in the making, from the day we decided after the news from our infertility specialist, to the long hours of research, running around with paperwork, late nights completing our adoption courses,the nightly discussions, our friendships we have developed through our adoption arena, and so much more. Both of us remembering our preparation prior to leaving. Jesse and his electronics..."gotta stay connected", he would say and of course work. Cleaning out the "new ones" room. Taking my extra clothes from that closet and saying to Jesse, "where am I gonna put all this stuff?" Baby proofing the house, and buying a stroller to bring with us. Which we have schlepped around to LAX,Rome,Kiev, Kharkiv, and Dnipro. Remembering our long talks about our child...boy or girl?...what kind of personality will they have?...how old will they be?...where will they sit at the dinner table?...will they like Sushi?...and the list goes on. Going over and over in our heads, how could this possibly be happening?
And then came late afternoon...can't say too much except...
DEVINE INTERVENTION!

Completely Numb

Unfortunately our situation went from terribly bad to worse. The chain of events that have happened today are causing us to believe that someone is telling us to "get out of dodge!" All of it is UNBELIEVABLE. We are no longer sure about our appointment tomorrow with the Director of the SDA due to a confrontation that took place today between our facilitator and the Director. It appears that Jess and I are in the middle of a feud that is not ours. We have been trying to stay afloat but others are sinking us.It is our worst nightmare. Continuing to reach out and will exhaust every single resource before we leave this place. Will write more once I wrap my head around all of this.

Pure exhaustion

Our situation has become very complicated. We are beyond exhausted staying up most of the night to find a way to make this happen. Networking and networking. We are overwhelmed with the responses and help from our friends and strangers alike.
A restoration of our faith in mankind. I am too tired to write much. Our plan at this point it to have a conference call with our Agency at 8am our time tomorrow morning and stratigize about our meeting with the SDA Director on Thursday. We are told this is not an easy task but nonetheless we are going for it. Hoping by tomorrow I will have my energy back and ready to write. Until tomorrow...

Speechless

We were denied our 3rd appointment. I do not have the stength to write the details tonight but wanted to communicate this info to all of you who are following our journey. Is this really happening? How could it be so? Our next step is to go to the Director of the SDA on Thursday. More later.

I can't hear you

Okay so get this. Jess and I go to a small store this morning to gather a few items. This is right after we move to our new apartment, number 5. Yes this is our 5th apartment here in Kiev, apparently apartments are a hot commodity and you can only stay in one for a few days. So we are back in the first apartment that we stayed in when we first arrived in Kiev. It is okay, but when we arrived Jesse did not have access to the internet like he was promised so he was not happy. Finally at some point he was able to get online…thank goodness! Back to the store. Jess and I bought water, candy bars, and Q-tips. Now I am a Q-tip snob so for me to just by any Q-tip is a big deal. But Jesse said we needed them so we bought them. I should have known by the packaging, they came in a plastic baggy. Once we were back at the apartment Jess pulled 2 out and began to twist them in his ears. So I took 2 out and began to twist them in my ears, not hard, just an easy twist, back and forth. When I pulled the right Q-tip out I noticed there was no cotton on the end. I said to Jess “I think the cotton is stuck in my ear.” How could that happen? Jess looked in my ear but saw nothing. He then “MacGyvered” a tool out of the end of a Q-tip missing the cotton. At this point I will try anything but I must say I was reluctant to put this thing that just screwed me up back in my ear! I put this tool in my ear and twisted and turned hoping to catch the end of the cotton and pull it out. Twisting and turning, back and forth…but no luck. I jumped on one leg with my head tilted, I held my nose and blew, still nothing. Once Jess was able to get online he went to “what to do if you get a Q-tip stuck in your ear.” It read, “See a Doctor!” I phoned our Ukrainian Adoption Doctor and told him what happened and he said, “I can’t hear you, what did you say?” I said, “I was using a Q-tip and the cotton got stuck in my ear!” It was so comical we all were laughing. He asked if it was an emergency and told me that it was not life threatening and If I could stand the “discomfort” for one night then he would send me to and ENT tomorrow. Jess and I had the giggles…who else would get a Q-tip stuck in their ear while they’re in the Ukraine? Apparently me! Jess says I should sleep with my good ear on the pillow that way since I can’t hear out of the "bad” ear I should sleep pretty well. I’ll give it a try. Geeze I know I have been wanting a good nights rest, but I certainly did not have to go to this extent. Will fill you in on the Doctors visit tomorrow and update you with our 3rd appointment date.

Ukrainian name for Q-Tip- Cotton Cobb

Re-grouping

Spent the day re-grouping,reconnecting and now we are in the mindframe to make this adoption happen. Thanks to all of our friends and family who have reached out continuoulsy and given us support,strength and love. Our motto is still...just keep swimming...just keep on swimming.

Log on to this link-
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WVoC_CJbow

Andre

The last few days have been more overwhelming than I can articulate.
We flew to Dnipropetrovsk at 9am on Sept 3rd, schlepping our luggage once again, arriving at the “Inspectors” office by 11:30am. Picked up our paperwork and drove directly to the orphanage. To get there we managed our way thru small streets with single family old homes. Much different then we have seen so far. The taxi pulled down a dirt road to where the big gate to the orphanage was. Before long we were escorted into the Directors office. She was a hardcore, nasty middle aged woman. Her vibe was strong, direct and coming right at us. As soon as we sat down she picked up the phone, said something in Russian and then hung up. Just as we started to ask our questions, her door opened and a Caretaker walked in with little beautiful Andre. Jess and I just stared…and then the Caretaker prompted him, like a puppet to say “hi Momma.” My heart stopped, I could barely catch my breath. How dare this Director do this to us, we were not ready for this yet. I was furious. The questions finally begin, asking about his Mother, birth, siblings, medical conditions, etc. This is all going on while Andre is interacting with Jesse. We are told he was in the hospital for 1 year after birth. Something our US Doctor says is a red flag. Mainly because there is not much stimulation going on while they are in the hospital. We notice right away that this boy looks like he is about 2, if that. He is very tiny, but extremely interactive seems to be very sharp, gentle personality, even a little shy. We can tell he understands the Director and her commands, parading him around again like a puppet. (This made me sick). After watching Jess and Andre play “thumbs up” and Andre resting his two little hands on Jesse’s leg, I am thinking quietly to myself, “Jesse has a son.” Then the bomb drops, or what feels like a bomb. My head is spinning, what else have we not been told. We were given the wrong information, he did NOT have the Cleft surgery like we were told only plastic surgery. It was NOT recent like we were told but 2 years ago. He is scheduled to have the Cleft fixed when he is 5 or 6 when the only Doctor in the region can fit him in! What kind of place is this? This child can not speak because he needs his mouth fixed. He actually could say words, but not sentences. We question the misinformation and are told, they do not know who would have given us the wrong information. Okay, he seems to be an absolutely delightful child, we can do the surgery and work with this is what I am thinking. We are told his diagnosis is an incomplete left side cleft palate, but when he opened his mouth for us, we could clearly see it was straight in the middle of his mouth, 1 inch wide, and the length of his whole mouth. It was a huge cleft palate. We begin to question possible FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome) because of the placement of his eyes, and his missing nose bridge. We are told it is all related to his cleft. We are not Doctors so we really do not know at this point. None of our questions were answered in a complete manner, some vague, some skirted around. And every time I would ask something else, I got the feeling the Director was saying enough already, do you want him or not? We leave with “pits” in our stomachs. Not knowing what to think. With the little amount of time we spent with this boy we are completely falling for him. We rush to an internet café to download our photos to send to our US Doctor, and the ports are closed and there is no way to send them. Beyond stressful, so we drive to DT to the largest internet café in this city and no luck. Minds are racing, we call our Doctor here who has agreed to come on Thursday to examine Andre.While waiting to go back during visiting time, Jess and I are reviewing the height, weight, and circumference charts. He does not meet the requirements even for the 1 percentile.We go over it and over it making sure we are reading it correctly. What do we do? So much pressure. Do we go back, completely fall in love or do we wait until a Doctor can examine him before we put ourselves thru such heartbreak? The tears are falling, trying to find some common ground, but we are on overload. What do we do?
We finally get a line out and call my Mom. She brainstorms with us, and consoles us. We go from deciding to go visit with him, to waiting until Dr Yuri comes. Back and forth, back and forth. What kind of decisions are we being asked to make? This is absolute torture. Neither Jess nor I can stop crying. Finally we call our Doctor in the US and explain why we can not send pictures. We are desperate for his advice and help and he can hear it. With his gentle voice he brings me out of my “crisis’ mode to a place where I can reason. He begins with a series of questions. What does his cleft look like? Describe it for me as best you can. What was his birth wait, gestation period, length, current weight, height, head circumference? Do you think he can hear? What lab results were you shown? How old was his Mother? Any FAS? I answer the best I can. As soon as I give him the Childs head circumference, he says, are you sure you have the right birth date? I assure him. He proceeds to tell me that his head is extremely small. Can be caused by many things, including FAS, but this is great cause for concern. This means his brain is not growing at a normal rate. He then consults with his cranial/cleft specialist and after reviewing all the information we give him, he says, ‘I believe this child is too “high risk.” I begin to reach, but, “he is really smart, very interactive, responded quickly to everything.” Once again, he says” I believe this child is too “high risk.” Trying to digest his words was almost impossible. When I came to, I thanked him for his professional advice and expertise. Jess and I sobbed knowing this was our answer. We have come to the Ukraine to adopt a child with minor correctable medical conditions,and our Doctor felt Andre would need more than this. No one can imagine the pain and agony we felt and are still feeling. We both fell for this little guy, and certainly we could provide so much for him, but at this time in our lives we are looking for a healthier child. Neither of us can shake his sweet smile, big blue eyes with the longest eyelashes you’ve ever seen.
I slept only because of the aid of an Ambien. In the morning we needed to go back to the orphanage to write our refusal. I could not imagine why this Director was making us do this at the orphanage, the last one didn’t. So I gathered my composure barely and to the orphanage we went. Walking past the big front gates we could see children, lots of young children, who looked healthy playing in the yard. I tried not to look, but I could see Jesse staring out to all of them, asking himself what about these children? The truth is that they are not available, either someone visits them 1 time a year, or there Mothers have not signed off, or they have siblings. The list goes on of why so many are not available.I brought with me a bag full of special things for Andre. A Mickey Mouse sweatshirt and a Disney “cars” outfit (thanks ROD), a stuffed animal, coloring book, color pens, crayons, and more. I asked the clerk to make sure that the whole bag went to Andre and no one else. I hope it made him smile and that he knows we thought he was very special. Jess and I will remember him forever. Today we even got our charts out again, starting to look up things online regarding measurements, basically reaching, but the same conclusion keeps rearing its face.
Last night was extremely difficult for both of us, do we stay for our 3rd appointment or do we go home? Today we are both in agreement that we will stay and are hopeful that it is all going to work out. Went to the SDA to drop off our refusal letter and were told to call on Monday after 11am to find out about our 3rd appointment.
I want to say that I am so proud of my husband for being so vulnerable and exposing himself to such pain without giving up. He has stretched himself in impossible ways and is still willing to stay and take another chance with me. I picked a “Wiener!”(winner). As most of you know we have spent countless hours with paperwork, research, investing endless amounts of time, and energy with this adoption project. We are here to find our child. Still believing that the brick walls are there not to keep us out, only to make us realize how much we want something.
HEALTHY CHILD, HEALTHY CHILD, HEALTHY CHILD!

Barely Standing

Wanted to let you know we arrived back in Kiev tonight without the little boy Andre.
Will write tomorrow.

Leavin' tomorrow

Did not sleep a wink last night. So many things going through my mind. Early in the morning I had a complete meltdown which lasted almost the whole day. Do not want to get into yesterday but let's say it just about put me over the edge. Jess and I talked for hours today and I cried. Throughout the day Jess cried too, mostly I think he felt helpless because he could not really do much for me...the truth is I just needed a day to let it all out, re-group, re-connect with Jess and move on. Both of us were dis-enchanted, angry, bitter, full of questions, and trying to dig deep enough to find some resolve. Late afternoon I pulled it together, wiped my puffy eyes, and we went to purchase our plane tickets at a small local travel agent and back to the SDA to pick up our new referral paperwork. The gal at the SDA today let us look at our referral's picture again for about 2 minutes and I had a chance to study the photo. Some of my concerns about his cleft lip and palate have dissipated somewhat. I am hoping that it is not as severe as I originally was thinking. There is only one Ukrainian airline and that's the one we are on. Our plane leaves Kiev tomorrow at 9am and will arrive in Dnipropetrovsk at 10:30am. We have arranged for a driver to pick us up and take us directly to see the "Inspector."Then we will go to the orphanage. Our Doctor here in the Ukraine is on stand-by for us and our Doctor in the US is waiting to hear from us as well. Both Jess and I are feeling excited about this little boy and are hoping for a beautiful connection.

Round 2

Just got home. It was a very difficult day. Again we were shown very sick children except for 2 sibling sets and the child we are traveling to meet. One sibling set was twin boys age 8, and the other sibling set a boy 3 and his sister 9. Neither felt like a good fit for us. I will not go into the details of today and the difficulties but at the end of the day we have decided to travel to meet a little 4 1/2 year old boy, who seems to be quite healthy except for he was born with a cleft palate. He recently had surgery and will need additional. We consulted with our Doctor here who told us as long as he understands everything he should be fine. He also said he is very lucky that he was given the surgery because many orphans are never even considered. The orphanage Director told Sveta that this child is a "splendid" child who is interacting well with others. This is about all we know. There are so many medical questions we still need answered and so we are traveling to find them out. We are both in a strange way, afraid to be too vulnerable. Will write more tomorrow and fill you in on our travel plans.
All our love-

A"sign"

We left our apartment this evening to take a stroll and I said as we turned the corner from our alleyway to the street that there was a rainbow somewhere, I could just feel it. We looked up in the sky but did not see anything. With each step and turn we looked all around and still nothing. Not to my surprise when we reached a few blocks up I turned to peer at the sky again and there it was, a rainbow, just as I knew. It's a sign!

Tomorrow is the day

The sun shined brightly and lit up our room early this morning. Before long Jess and I were up and out. Our main goal today was to keep busy, walk the city, and make it to the SDA to channel positive energy for tomorrow. I silently stood next to the building and asked "Kiska" (we refer to our child as this) to reveal herself/himself to us tomorrow around 3pm when we are at our appointment. "Please wait until the exact time that we are in our meeting so that we can find you," I said. We are trying very hard and need to see your file tomorrow. Please don't be scared little one...we promise to love you, protect you, keep you safe, and we promise you will never go hungry. Your Papa loves dessert so there will be plenty of that too! Jess stood close pleading to "Kiska" too. He is sure that our little one is ready to come out and play. Tonight we anxiously await trying desperately not to let the anxiety creep in.
We walked along the open market across the way from the SDA and bought a few souvenirs. I really wanted to buy this beautiful handmade Ukrainian blouse but the asking price was $71 American dollars. I figured I should wait until Sveta returns and ask her to help me negotiate. Funny, those of you that know me would never imagine that I would be asking someone else to negotiate something for me! I will definitely return home with one of these blouses. They remind me of an embroidered shirt from the 60's...totally groovy!
Closing today with sincere gratitude to all of our friends and family and thanking you for sending us your good thoughts and positive energy for tomorrow's 3pm appointment. Thanks to all of you who have recruited your "peeps" to help us with this too...it's making a difference!
So many questions and thoughts fill our mind about tomorrow, the time to sleep will not come fast enough. We were reminded yesterday by dear friends that we have each other and that everything is going to work out exactly the way it supposed to. Sleep tight Kiska, tomorrow something good is going to happen!

Weekend

The sound of rain hitting the building kept us in bed this morning. It was nice to sleep in.
Jesse cooked a great breakfast and we took it easy until the afternoon. Back to our coffee cafe place just up the street. Did not feel like going to far because of the rain. Thought about buying an umbrella but never did. Ordered lunch/dinner at the coffee place. We had a delicious cesars salad and a chicken and tomato pannini. I was craving iceberg lettuce. There is no problem finding cabbage here, but lettuce is difficult. The best thing about our outing was dessert! Jess has been eye-balling this scrumptious dish for a few days now and finally broke down today. We indulged in what they call pancakes. We know it as a crepe. The one Jesse ordered was filled with warm chocolate nutella, hazelnuts, and raisins, with powdered sugar sprinkled on top and to finish it off there was white and dark chocolate syrup drizzled all over it. OMG...I looked at Jesse after his first bite...he was in heaven! It was by far the best thing we have ever had! At some point today Jesse looked at me and said, "I have never in my whole life wanted a weekend to go by so fast!" That is pretty much the way we are feeling. Have a big day planned for tomorrow to walk the city and keep busy. Heard from Sveta just awhile ago and her plan is to catch a bus from her hometown tomorrow evening around 9pm. That will put her back in Kiev on Monday morning around 6am in time for our second appointment.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY POP'S

This blog is dedicated to my Father who turns 86 years old today. Happy Birthday from the Ukraine.
My sisters and I have always referred to him as "Pop's" He is my Pop, my loving friend, my inspiration, and my "Hero!" He is a man of his word, extremely loyal, and absolutely trustworthy. I always knew he would protect me and keep me safe. I have always believed that he is the wisest man I know. His undeniable intelligence is one thing he did not pass on to me. I can ask him a question about anything ie...World History, Art, English Literature, Mathematics, and he will give me the answer, whether it is correct I do not know...but I believe him! He is ridiculously generous with his money, time and knowledge. When you are in his presence you can not help but feel his gentle soul. He is well rounded-a forward thinking man who stands up for what he believes. He is not afraid to voice his opinion even in an arena where others may feel different. He has always stayed true to himself- this he did pass on to me. He taught me that each of us can make a difference, that in times of adversity one can find the strength within to swallow the darkness and move on. My Pop's grew up in an orphanage from the time he was 5 years old. Under the worst circumstances he found good in others who weren't always so nice, and made the best of what he had. He grew up with no "real" role models but despite that he is an amazing husband and father. He raised along with my Mother 4 loving daughters, all who would say that he is the most successful man they know. His success is reflected in the way his children feel about him. All of us would say he is our outstanding Pop's...our dear friend...our 'HERO"
I hope that one day I am as incredible of a parent to my child as he has been to me. Happy Birthday-I love you!

Now to Jess and I for a moment...yippee we are online for the first time in 24 hours. Apparently the apartment owner did not pay his bill. Glad it is rectified. Yesterday we braved the grocery store alone using our Ukrainian ATM card to pay. The strange thing about the grocery store is you are not allowed to carry anything in the store except for your purse. If you have any other belongings there are lockers to put them in. Our feet took us to downtown where we even ventured into shops. Today we visited an old Synagogue in the middle of Kiev. Jess put on a yarmulke and we were given permission inside to walk around. Once inside we both stood quietly and prayed. Neither of us told one another what we were praying about but my guess is it was for the same thing. Ordered my first latte without Sveta and the waitress brought me an espresso...good try! Returned home after the rain got in our way.
Our 2nd appointment is scheduled for 3pm on Monday...positive energy our way!

Waiting

Active morning playing cards, cleaning our apartment, including sweeping and mopping the floors. Took a long walk to the SDA in the afternoon to see if our second appointment was posted. When we arrived there were several facilitators and people around. Some I am sure were there for their first appointments and others for the same reason we were. Jess and I both recognized people we had seen before. Our appointment is Monday but we do not have a time yet. We will know by the afternoon on Friday. I saw an Italian woman (who I saw the other day at the SDA) sitting on a bench waiting for her facilitator. I am sure she was waiting to hear about her second appointment too. As I watched her I imagined she must be feeling what I am. The uncertainty, and stress of the experience. Dreaming of her little one whom she does not know yet. Wishing and hoping that her second referral is the "one." Reaching to her limits to find the strength to wait more to continue to believe that it is all going to work out. I wanted her to look at me to see that she was not alone. I too am feeling the same way, in the moments that passed, both of us, her and I, trapped in our own worlds and feeling alone. I wish her all good things and that she is united soon with her child.
Sveta took off for a few days to her home town to visit with her child and husband. Before going we asked her to write down a few important things for us ie...decaf coffee, pizza with mushrooms and onions, and hot tea. That way we can venture out to this cute coffee house by our apartment and know what to ask for. We will be fine walking around the city since we have familiarized ourselves with it the last week and going to the grocery store will be a piece of cake. Chocolate is on isle 12!
The language barrier is the hard part. If we could understand the letters it would make it easier but the Cyrillic alphebet takes talent to decifer. The few Russian lessons I took have helped me a wee bit but not much. We do have Igor's aka..."Ricky Martin" phone number should we need a driver. I forgot to mention in the earlier blogs that Jesse named Igor, Ricky Martin. It took me some time to see it, but now I do. It is in the structure of his face and around his eyes. Of course Igor got a total kick out of it when we told him who he looked like. He does not speak or understand any English so it will be quite interesting for all of us if we need him.
Looking forward to a night alone with my hubby-

Refusal letter submission

Arrived at the SDA around 9am. Sveta submitted the proper paperwork but then was told that the copy of our Dossier would not be sufficient that they needed our original. So back to the apartment to pick up the correct paperwork and back to the SDA. She was surprised by this and said it is something new, that the other facilitators were questioning it as well.
Had to go to the bank, grocery store and take care of a few other things. We were told to call the SDA at 4:30 pm today to find out when our 2nd appointment will be which we did, however they did not have any information for us yet so we are waiting...you would think we would be used to waiting but today was hard! We should know something in the next day or two. Decided since we are here for alittle while we should cook instead of eating out each day. Plus my waist can't take anymore greasy potatoes...at least for a few days.
Doing our best to stay positive but like I said today was a tough day...very overwhelming.
Tomorrow is going to be a better day!

Holiday

Our day began with a bowl of corn flakes, yes you can get them here in the Ukraine.
We took it easy for the most part. Sveta and I dragged Jess with us to the nail salon. Figured I could use a manicure. While we were there Jess decided to find out how much a hair cut cost . For just $16 he could get a cut wash and blow dry, so he went for it. The best part was the girl that cut his hair! She was hot! He is thinking about going back tomorrow! Something good happened today...our washing machine is broken and Sveta called to notify the property manager who sent over the apartment owner. He took our laundry and washed it all and then brought it back to us. Yes it was wet, but clean...works for me!
Just got back from a traditional Ukrainian dinner. The lovely restaurant was in a local park not far from our apartment. As we walked thru the park to get there we passed hundreds of men sitting around tables playing chess...chess is a very big game here and boy are those men serious. Dinner consisted of salad, meat, potatoes, and a crepe like apple dessert called "mlinzi"... Superb!
Back to the apartment in order to wake up early to make it to the SDA to drop off our paperwork. So glad tomorrow is Tuesday.

More Ukrainian tid-bits
It is bad luck to pick up a coin from the ground
It is bad luck to throw your trash away in the evening
It is bad luck to wash your floor right after a person leaves your house

Ukrainian Independence day

We were awaken by the loud noise of military tanks. Sveta came into our room and said hurry look out the window. Both Jess and I grabbed our camera's and began to take photos.
It was as if we were stuck in a World War 11 movie and could not get out. First it was military tanks, then it was military vehicles parading on our street carrying missiles, rocket launchers, and other equipment that I do not have a name for. I was scared and figured we would stay inside for the whole day. Sveta phoned her husband and he said that he thought it would be safe if we went to a particular place. Fear set in for me, here we are in a foreign country, and I was not sure how safe it was to be an American. With much resistance I ended up taking to the streets with Jess and Sveta. For miles the streets were blocked off to all traffic, and there was security on all corners. Children and families were in masses, women and men alike drinking beers as they walked through the crowds, people dressed in costumes, and thousands holding the Ukrainian flag. We walked for miles soaking in the history and culture. It was wonderful to watch the Ukrainian people celebrate this event with great pride. Ukraine gained their independence in 1991.
Tomorrow we will write our rejection letter to the State Dept, not sure what it entails, but Sveta will help us. Unfortunately for us tomorrow is also a holiday and so we will not be able to submit our paperwork until Tuesday. We are told that our second appointment should be next week sometime. Holding on to hope and believing everything works out the way it is supposed to.

Ukrainian tid-bits
Married people wear their wedding rings on their right hand, unless they are of the Baptist religion or widowed.
You can not roll an empty stroller- it must have something in it.
Before you marry- if you cook and burn your food you will marry a man with dark hair, if you cook and your food is raw you will marry a man with blond hair.
It is common for a mother to breast feed her child until the child is 3 years of age.
It is common for girls to hold hands all the time.

Heartbreak

Thank you all for your tremendous support. It is making things easier for us.

Writing this a day after we returned to Kiev from the orphanage in Kharkiv. We did not have Internet access until now.

Yesterday was a day like no other. We arrived in Kharkiv after a 7 hour car ride. Changed our clothes in the car, put on our make-up, and revived ourselves. None of us really slept, maybe Sveta caught an hour or two, but Jesse and I stayed awake. Needed to wait until 9am to see the "Inspector" of the orphanage, so we ventured to a place called " Target", it is their version of "Target." Inside you can find anything including a restaurant. We had coffee, tea, and pastries. Sveta explained the process to us again, so as to make sure we would be prepared. She phoned the Inspector at 9:20am and she was still not at work, but said she needed a ride and could we please pick her up and drive her to her office. Of course we could, Sveta said this would be a good opportunity for us. We drove a few miles to an apartment building and out walked a woman in her 30's, dressed in capri pants and high heels. She greeted us with, "Dobrogo Ranku", which is good morning. Sveta and her exchanged words on the way to her office, and then Sveta told us to wait in the car that she would go inside and discuss us with her. Soon Sveta was back in the car and we were off to the orphanage. As we approached the very old, dark, grayish building anxiety set it and again I was nauseous. Jesse kept saying, "pull yourself together and just breath." I was caught by surprise as we entered the building. There was an abundance of strollers in the entry way, the rooms were large and very clean, plenty of places to sit, the smell of fresh food was being cooked, and a pleasant smiling staff walking around. It had a pretty good vibe inside. We were greeted by the orphanage attorney who was lovely, and escorted into an administration office where there was the Directors nurse, and two caretakers. Evidently the Director is the head Doctor as well. The attorney went over the child's history, surprisingly there was more information than we had expected to find out, and the child's medical condition. The child was a "special needs" child, although I do not think the caretakers thought so. It could be that we have a different perspective then they do. Jess and I were given a picture of the child to look at, and at that moment I could barely breath, knowing that we were going to reject this beautiful little boy who needs a good home. The Director/Doctor came in to introduce himself and then asked if we were ready to see the child who would be in a "rehab" room by himself. Both Jess and I looked at Sveta in desperation, pleading with our eyes not to make us see him alone but it was too late. The intent of the caretakers at that moment was to find that little boy a good home and they felt it was best to show him to us alone so we could see his personality, how well he was getting around after several surgeries on his legs, and his communication skills. The long hall came fast, we were told to take our shoes off, (a custom one does in the Ukraine as soon as they enter a home) and to follow Sveta into the "rehab" room. The room was filled with all kinds of new updated equipment such as a climbing rope ladder, hoola hoops, small trampoline, balls, etc. As the door opened the little one looked up at us with his big brown eyes, and Jesse fell apart. His heart was broken. I turned to look at him and I too could no longer fight back the tears, that moment had to be one of the most heartbreaking moments in our lives. The caretakers were playing with him to show us how active he was, and after a few minutes Jess and I had to excuse ourselves. The pain was too great and there was nothing we could do to help this child. We sat in a hallway while Sveta talked to the Director. We talked about how terrible we felt, but how we needed to stay focused on our goal here, and what was going to be the right fit for us. Sveta said the caretakers understood, and that they were not worried because they would find a good home for this boy. Wish that made us feel better at that moment, but truthfully it did not. We returned to the "Inspectors" office to pick up our paperwork and then we began our long road trip back to Kiev. None of us really talked on the way home, we were filled with painful emotion, sadness, heartbreak, even anger in a strange way. Sveta managed to cheer us up by picking a sunflower off the side of the road so that we could try fresh sunflower seeds. Igor was terrific and only got pulled over 1 time for speeding, but interestingly enough he whipped out 20 grivna and made the ticket go away. Imagine if it was that simple in the US?

Today our spirits begin to recharge.

A few side notes- The orphanage caretakers we all wonderful, and you could tell they love those children. All of them were very nice to us, informative, and we found them to be genuine.

Jess tried on a watch that was $239,000.00. Now what kind of person would let him try on such an expensive watch? We had no idea until Sveta said,"do you know how much that costs?"

Hot chocolate here is melted dark chocolate bars with a spoonful of cream. It is like syrup and yes Jesse has had it twice and can not wait to get home and make it.

You turn the stove on by turning the gas line on in the kitchen with a wrench.

No woman leaves home without their stilettos and their short short short skirts.

For now we say- paka paka- bye bye.

Round 1

Unfortunately today did not turn out the way we had hoped. Did not get much sleep last night. Left our apartment at 9:30 this morning and arrived at the State Dept at 9:45. At that time we were the only couple waiting in the tiny lobby, if you would call it that. There were 2 couples already in their meetings. Within an hour the lobby filled up with other couples who were there waiting for their appointments. Actually we were all gathered at the bottom of the stairs leading to the appointment rooms. Facilitators communicated with one another, and for the most part all of us waiting kept our eyes down, and no one hardly said a word. I could tell there was another American couple, a Ukrainian couple, and an Italian couple.
As we waited anxiety crept thru our bodies, and it seemed like it took forever until the clock turned 11am. Each time we heard a door open from above and someone walking our bodies filled with anticipation, so much so that at one point I was nauseous and needed to breath some fresh air. At 11:20 an attractive woman waived Sveta up the stairs and we followed. We entered a private room with a corner couch seat. All three of us sat down and quickly the meeting began. Sveta interpreted everything the "Psychologist" said. She first asked a series of questions. Why are you adopting? How come the Ukraine? How long have you been with your agency? What is your occupation? Where do you live? Do you own your home? The ebb and flow of the conversation seemed to be going well. Then she said, what are your expectations? We told her a girl/boy, minor correctable medical conditions, age 2-5. She said they have no children at this time but she would show us what they have and that all of the children in the orphanages have severe medical conditions. The files were placed on the table in front of us. We saw a total of 9.
They consisted of 1 page describing in Ukrainian the child's medical conditions, age, orphanage information and some other info. The Psychiatrist and Sveta communicated back and forth.
We kept asking to see children in our age range, who only had minor medical conditions, and she kept saying this is all we have today. There were only 2 children on our age range, we saw a sibling set ages 7and9, who seemed to be healthy, but that was too old for us, and we saw severely challenged children. In particular one file was extremely disturbing. It is difficult to turn down these referrals when you know how desperate these children are to find good homes. Jess and I spent many hours discussing our limitations and at this point in our lives we are clear on what will work for both of us. In order for us to get a second appointment at the State Dept. we needed to choose one of the files that were presented to us. So we chose the youngest boy age 3. He has something called Pierre-Robbins syndrome, which can affect ones breathing, swallowing, chin growth, and verbal skills. He has a small cleft palate (inside). He also had leg surgery to correct his leg positioning. Our plan is to travel to his orphanage in Kharkiv on Thursday night leaving at 2am arriving at 8am. Then we will need to visit the child in order to decline this referral. As I write this tears fall from my eyes as I am not sure how I will handle it all. Of course I will get thru it...but I don't imagine it will be easy. If we decline this referral our plan is to return to Kiev on Friday or Saturday and wait for our next appointment at the State Dept.
This is not how we wished our day would have played itself out, but we are supporting one another and holding on to hope, and reminding ourselves that everything happens exactly the way it is supposed to.
As Jess and our dear friend Phil say...just keep swimmin'...just keep swimmin'!

Goodnight in Kiev- lights out

Last thoughts to share before we try to sleep. First of all I want to thank my husband Jesse for being such an incredible man. His constant support, encouragement, flexibility, warmth, open heart, and persistent strength thru this whole journey thus far has carried me safely and weightless at times. He is a man like no other, my partner for life and my best friend. I feel so fortunate to have a found such an amazing spirit to share this whole experience with.
Tomorrow when we awake we will be only hours away from one of the most significant turning points in our lives. No matter the outcome we will be changed forever. One can not help but become more enriched in ways you never knew existed. This whole experience has taken both of us to places where raw emotions explode like thunder, and patience has strangled us until almost blue. With that said there have also been times of deep resolve knowing that this full circle of life will be healing for so many of us.
Good night dear friends, tomorrow will change our lives forever!

Awaiting tomorrow

Excited that we were able to communicate last night and we were thrilled to receive so many responses. Busy running around today. Arrived at the State Dept around noon to find out our appointment time for tomorrow. It is 11am. Please send us positive energy and good thoughts.
It was very surreal walking up to the building which is old and very unassuming. While we were there we watched an Italian couple exit with tears in their eyes. It was obvious that they were tears of joy! Jess and I both looked at each other and fought back our tears. We can only imagine at this point what it must have felt like. Our facilitator Sveta told us that Italians adopt more children from the Ukraine than any other country, then Spain and then the US.
Tomorrow there are about 12 appointments altogether starting at 9am. It is very strange to be at this point in our journey and surprisingly I am quite relaxed and confident. Jesse is feeling more nervous than I, but truthfully together we are balancing one another out. We are keeping ourselves busy until we leave our apartment at 9:30am t0morrow. How could it be that tomorrow we will be choosing our child? How do we know we are making the right choice? How will our child feel when we first meet them? How will our lives change? How can today we be childless and tomorrow we begin to become parents? We ask each other these questions again and again, and without reservation we know that the Universe is setting it up just perfect for all of us to come together. Hoping we get some sleep tonight...tomorrow will be a wonderful day!
We will blog immediately after our appointment. Do zavtra!

Privyet Ukraine

Hello- we made it safely to the Ukraine. Svetlana was at the airport holding a sign-Nicole Ash-Jess Wiener. Instantly we saw her as we exited past customs. She is more beautiful then we imagined. Her English is perfect and without any hesitation we all hugged. She escorted us out of the airport where our car and driver Igor were waiting. On our way to our apartment we stopped at the "market" t0 gather groceries for a few days. That was quite an experience. Fresh veggies, fresh baked goods, and plenty of meat. It was interesting that they had a small exchange booth for money at the store, and a little shop where you could get fresh squeezed juices. You pack your own groceries with as little amount of bags possible. Arriving at our hotel we felt a sense of relief. We were exhausted especially after we managed to get all of our suitcases up to the 4th floor. Actually it was not difficult we used a tiny 1 person elevator! Our apartment is 1 block from the center of town. It is a very old building with character however our apartment is newly renovated. We have a/c, and a washing machine. We opened a bottle of wine, relaxed and got to know one another. The night was gone before we knew it. Today Sveta ( now she is Sveta) took us to the bank where there was just one gal working, and then we were off to a place called "Pirogova" which is a village of museums from different regions of Ukraine. Had a traditional lunch which is really dinner here, consisting of cold soup called "kroshka", meat(pork) and potatoes. Delicious. Home by 4ish, and then met with Dr. Yuri, who will be our Doctor here in the Ukraine. He was extremely informative, very likable, and will be ready to travel with us when we need him. Tomorrow we will go to the State Dept. to find our our appointment time for the 20th. Apparently it is posted on the wall of the 1st floor. We are told that appointments for adoptive parents are between 9am- 4pm. It is a very exciting and nervous time for us as you can imagine. Just finished dinner11:30pm (crazy) but wanted to give a quick update from us. Dobrah Nochi...Goodnight!

Molte Bene

Fascinated all day long. Visited St. John's Basilica, the Holy Stairs, and the Catacombs.
The last time I was in the Catacombs I was a bit claustrophobic but this time I was just fine. Jesse was so turned on, and can not stop talking about all the history he has experienced today and the last few days. We arrived back at our hotel around 7ish, quickly freshened up and now we are on our way to have our last dinner in Roma, this trip. We will return without a doubt. Just can not get enough of Italy, the food, the people, the culture....all of it soothes our souls.
When we blog tomorrow we will be in the Ukraine!
Ciaobella-

Magnifico Rome

Explored all day yesterday. St. Pietro Basilica built in 459 a.D - where we saw Michelangelo's masterpiece "Moses", and the chains of Peter. Visited the Roman forum, The Unknown Solider, the Colosseum. We were in awe all day. The Colosseum was astonishing, holding 40,000-70,000 spectators. Words can not describe the intensity of the whole experience.
Today we are walking to the Pantheon, Spanish Steps, back to the Trevi fountain to throw in coin from my office and hopefully catching an afternoon tour of the catacombs.
Ciao ciao-

Buon Giorno

Arrived in Roma safely after an uneventful flight. Prior to leaving however we were surprised by my Mother who met us at the airport to see us off. What a wonderful moment, and I only cried for 1 minute. Then of all people I was picked as a "special" candidate for excessive screening. Not often am I searched by another woman!
We were having trouble getting online so I missed blogging yesterday.
When we arrived in Rome we were picked up by our driver "Sylvia", that was right after Jesse said "whad up" to "snoop dog" who happened to be on our flight. How funny is that?
Our hotel is in the town center close to everything. It is easily accessible with quaint restaurants and cobblestone streets. It is perfect. The hotel staff are wonderful and upgraded us to a "master" just because. Now in order to get to our upgraded room we have to walk 3 blocks up the street to another building, where I assume several hotels have additional rooms. Now a "master" is not exactly what you would picture in the US but it is perfect. We ran around the city all night, had a magical dinner at a tiny restaurant down a very small side street,and then worked our way to the "Trevi Fountain." Jess and I managed to throw a few coins in and yes now we are assured we will come back one day!
Off to explore the city today...more later.

Our travels begin today

Jess and I did not get much sleep last night...thinking about everything.
How this whole experience will change us forever. As we embark on this journey we are complete within ourselves knowing that we were pulled in this direction and that we just could not resist. As partners for life, we are assured that we will be there for one another ever step of the way.
A moment to say thank you to all of our friends and family who have held our hands, given us strength, and supported us throughout our challenging process. As Randy Pausch (The Last Lecture) said, "brick walls are there for a reason...they are not there to keep us out, only to make us realize how very much we want something."
Off to Rome first...Arrivederci!

1 more wake-up

Yahoo...1 more wake-up! I had an overwhelming day filled with love, support, gifting,and celebrating. I was taken by surprise by the abundant e-mails from co-workers, clients, friends and family wishing us a safe and successful journey. There were several special moments throughout the day that brought tears to my eyes. I cried happy tears, nervous tears, tears of relief and tears of love. One of the highlights of the day was a special gift we received from our friends Olga and Ari. It is a gold pin with an evil-eye charm and a gold charm of the Torah. It is to be pinned on the the back of the child's garment to keep the evil-eye of jealousy and envy at bay. It's beautiful~
Jess and I brought Maggie to my parents house this evening and stayed for dinner. Mom cooked her delicious brisket which Jess proceeded to have endless helpings of. If she thought she was gonna have left-overs for tomorrow she was wrong. My sister Allison stopped by to send us off with hugs and kisses, and Jesse's sister Haley and brother-in-law Jim stopped by to wish us well before we left. Spent time eating, and visiting.
It is going to be hard to sleep tonight (not because of the chocolate cake and ice cream), after all...we are leaving tomorrow!

2 more wake-ups

Taking a quick break from getting it all together. Seems strange that I am still "doing." You would think I'd be done by now, but there is still stuff to do. Can you believe we only have 2 more wake ups? Unbelievable.
Received the paperwork today from our agency that I was waiting on and photobooks that my sister Gaby made for us. They came out darling! Thanks Gaby. It was suggested to us that we put together modest photos of our home, work, family including the Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Grandparents, Maggie dog, nearby park, community etc. We will leave one photobook with our child at the orphanage so they can get familiar with their new family and digs, and one for the orphanage Director, and the Judge.
Tomorrow when we awake we will be saying...only 1 more wake-up!

3 more wake-ups

Woke up this morning and began to work. Ran errands, cleaned, and for the most part finished packing. Completed the paperwork and organized it in files to bring along with us. Our dear friend Kimmie who went thru this a few years ago suggested that we scan all of the paperwork and keep it on a flashdrive. Thanks Kimmie we are gonna work on that tomorrow.
Jess and I received a wonderful phone call from a couple in San Diego who adopted twins from the Ukraine about 4 years ago. This was a neat story, one of those totally "meant to be" situations. I placed a woman on a job over a year ago, come to find out that her brother and sister-in-law adopted from the Ukraine, and they used the same agency we are using based out of Seattle Washington.Total cowinkidinki! Anyways they called to share their story with both Jess and I. They had an amazing positive experience, it was exactly what we needed to hear. They gave us even more confidence in our team and reassured us that we are in great hands with our Ukrainian team. We are so grateful for their time, knowledge, information, and support. Thanks Ron and Dianne!
Ending this evening with spokoynow nochi...goodnight!

4 more wake ups

I stayed true to my word, and packed light. So light that Jesse said,"you pack more when we just go away for the weekend!"I decided just to do basics, keep it simple, surely this will give me bonus points with our facilitator. My only dilemma at this point is should I bring my running shoes and running clothes? I would love to be able to exercise but not sure how that is going to work. I have paperwork to organize and a few more items to pack and then I'm done. Jess is packed and just needs to get his electronics in order, and that's not an easy task. DVD player, Ukrainian phone, computer, ipod, camcorder, digital camera, etc. With luck we will both be finished by tomorrow night.
Watched a little bit of the Olympics today and found myself completely moved to tears as 3 American women took the Gold, Silver, and Bronze in a swimming event. Emotions are raw, feeling very sensitive.
One more day closer!

5 more wake-ups

Thank goodness it is Friday, cause it means we get to pack tomorrow... yippee!
After work had two things we wanted to do. First we had a quick visit with our friends Kristin, Phil and their new little baby boy Shaia.He is the most beautiful baby! It was so wonderful to see our friends who have only recently become parents. We met them in one of the mandatory adoption programs and instantly hit it off. We were surprised to see how quickly they adjusted to their new roles, and how natural they are with their new child. It really is wonderful to have friends who completely understand the adoption process, what it takes, the patience needed, the concerns, the questions, and the emotions attached to the whole process. Somehow it makes it easier and more comforting that Kristin and Phil have gone thru the process, completed their adoption and are home with the child they were meant to have.Unfortunately it was really a short visit due to time constraints because we also wanted to get to Jesse's parents to celebrate his Dad's bday, and to visit for our last time with them before our trip.
However I did manage to give Shaia a bottle during our visit. Truthfully it doesn't get much better than that.
Had a nice visit with the in-laws and told them that when we return their new names will be Babooska Arleen and Dyah Dooshka Dennis.
Get ready for the packing report tomorrow...and I am writing this so I stick to it...I am packing light!

6 more wake-ups

Had an excellent day at Sea World with Janet and her nephew Cole. Yep took the day off and played.Ran around all day, checking out all the amazing animals. My favorite as always was the "Shamu" show. It was wonderful. The music, the connection between the whales and the trainers (I wanna be a trainer), the soaking of the audience by the powerful whale tails, the whole thing was great. I could watch it over and over again. The dolphin show was up at the top too! I just wanna swim and play with the dolphins. They are so incredible. Of course the penguins were as cute as can be, the beluga whale was super neat, and I loved the walrus.
The difference between this visit to Sea World and my previous experiences was I was watching the childrens reactions and how amazed they were, and I kept thinking that very soon I will bring our little one here to experience this magical place.

Only 7 more wake-ups

Another busy work day for both Jess and I as we try to wrap things up.
Jess will continue to work from the Ukraine. He will have access to all his e-mails and phone access as well. We rented a Ukrainian cell phone and we have purchased Skype, which is a phone line that hooks up to your computer. Jess is handling all this, I am so not tech savvy!
Tonight I spent 2plus hours at the hair salon weaving blond into my natural hair color...a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. Some things are important!
A shout out to my father-in-law...Happy Birthday!And a welcome to Janet's nephew Cole who flew in today from Seattle to spend the week with her.
More tomorrow.

8 more wake-ups

Last night was a sleepless night thinking of all sorts of things. Over and over in my head, did you get all the right papers notarized and or apostilled? Are you sure that you printed the right reports? Are our statements going to suffice or should I make more copies of our tax returns? Did I pay all of our bills for the next couple of months? Are you sure? How many more clients do I have to see in the next few days? What is Maggie our doggie going to think when she sees the suitcases? Does she know we are bringing a child home? And so on and so on. I just could not quiet my mind. And then the day began.
At noon I had a phone meeting with our agency facilitator Victoria in Seattle to go over our paperwork and I am thrilled to say I can breath a sigh of relief... I have all the paperwork completed and we are good to go.Just waiting on two things from the agency which should arrive by the end of the week.
So another day will shortly come to an end and we will be that much closer to meeting our child.

9 more wake-ups

We had an incredible day of positive feedback after sending out our blog this morning. Thank you all!
I am happy to say that we checked off several things on our "to do" list this evening and if we are lucky we will check off a few more before bedtime.
Until tomorrow...sweet dreams!

The countdown begins!

10 more days until we begin our journey to meet our child. 17 more days until our appointment at the State Department.
We are filled with excitement and wonder. Who is our child? What age is our child? What sex is our child? Does our child have any idea that we are going to bring them to a place that will offer them so much more?
So many questions we ask ourselves, but at the end of the day we believe wholeheartedly that the Universe is setting it up just perfectly for the three of us to be united.
We want to thank our friends and family who have supported us, encouraged us and given us the strength to continue along this path.
An extra special thank you to my Mother for being there every single step of the way and knowing just the right words to say to make it all better!
Our first stop will be Rome, to run around the fascinating city for a few days enriching our souls before we travel to the Ukraine for even more enrichment.
We invite you all to join with us as we embark on this journey and new adventure in our life.
Peace and love- Nicole and Jesse